yaleman.org

I want an ipod for my birthday!

Nothing else interests me that people can afford, except for some little stuff… just band together, buy me a black 30gb ipod and allow me to inscribe something interesting on the back and I’ll be happy.

The end.

Dear Sir,

If I tell you to click continue, you don’t need to confirm with me twice to make sure I’m completely sure. Please just click the damn button.

Thanks,

James.

Dear customer,

When told to call back if the drivers don’t install, don’t wait six days and then call us. When you’re told that it’ll take a few days for us to send you a modem, don’t start whining and tell me that it’s urgent and you need one straight away - you’re no more special than the many other people that have these faults every day.

James.

Dear sir,

Arguing with me over the fact that I am required to send a technician to fix your ADSL will get you nowhere. When you continue to argue and I tell you that the other option is that I could just close the case and not send a tech, don’t whinge more.

Thanks,

James

Dear Sir,

You have admitted that you don’t know anything about computers. Based on the fact that I do know a lot about computers, please trust me and attempt to answer my carefully worded and relatively easy questions. Things like “what colour is the button in the bottom left of your screen that says start on it” or “what colour is the box in your hand” can be answered by most monkeys after a small amount of training, so you should be able to do it after a couple of goes.

“I installed the Bigpond before I installed the Mcaffee so it can’t possibly be blocking it!”

“…”

“… right?”

“What comes up when you open Internet Explorer?”

“2003e, the Authentication host was unreachable.”

“… what does the blue bar across the top say?”

“Bigpond Cable Login Client ver..”

“… Is that Internet Explorer? No. It’s not. Can you open Internet Explorer for me please?”

Dear customers,

If you are 70 years old, don’t know anything about computers and are too blind to read things on the front of your modem, please get a friend to come and help you when you have issues.

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Anything that can be done to a rat can be done to a human being. And we can do most anything to rats. This is a hard thing to think about, but it’s the truth. It won’t go away because we cover our eyes. That is cyberpunk.

- Bruce Sterling

caller: “I’m not a bigpond customer, but I was looking through my outlook settings and was wondering if you did microsoft exchange server accounts?”

… where do people come up with this shit?

Comment with a random useless fact about yourself, and I’ll:

1. Tell you why I friended you.
2. Associate you with a song/film/tv show.
3. Tell a random fact about you.
4. Tell a first memory about you.
5. Associate you with a character/pairing.
6. Ask something I’ve always wanted to know about you.
7. Tell you my favorite user pic of yours.

In return please spread this disease in your blog. Or not.

I got myself a stall at the Pyree Markets on Sunday, and framed some of my photos to try and sell some. I’d priced them rather low just in an attempt to try and sell them - only making about $10 off each one ($30 for a framed 8×10″ print isn’t bad people, cmon!)

As you may have guessed, I sold one! Right at the end of the day, after quite a few people walking past and looking at things then just wandering off, a guy walked up and bought a 6×8″ print of my Huskisson photo. It’d cost me about $8 to make, and he paid $15 - bastard asked if there was any discount for cash, geez - so it was on its way.